Easter

Not surprising all holidays have been bittersweet this year and Easter was no different except unlike the other holidays it was much more sweet then bitter . There's no denying that seeing that little red tinged hair baby boy at church all dressed up in his adorable Easter outfit who was about the same age as Ezra would have been didn't cause thoughts and feelings to surface of what I hoped our Easter would look like.  Yet even while working through those thoughts and feelings there was more underlying joy and peace this Easter weekend then ever before at the Wilde house.

This journey has taught us how real things are and one of those things being death.  We've both dealt with death, particularly in our jobs.  I thought I understood it.  I thought I grasped it. I thought I knew.  There were many times I have had the honor to be by the bedside as a precious life on earth took his/her final breath.  But I didn't understand the depths of any of it until we lost Ezra.  People are right in saying that death of someone so close to you feels like a small part of you also died. But it didn't die to darkness.  It died to a brighter, more beautiful, and peaceful place that brings an excitement of where we will get to be one day.

This season of life gave us a chance to know and feel just a snippet of pain that was felt the day Jesus died on the cross.  This grieving process has been so painful I can't even begin to imagine bearing the physical and emotional pain that was felt at that time.  Because of this we were engulfed with overwhelming gratitude that someone loves us that much to suffer such immense pain on our behalf that day we now call Good Friday.  Besides the birth of Jesus there is no greater reason to celebrate other then for the three words "HE IS RISEN" and those words had much deeper meaning this year.  In some ways this Easter almost was like we were not only celebrating Jesus' birth into heaven but also Ezra's all over again.  Knowing Ezra is in the same place that Jesus went to the third day after he rose again gave us even more joy and more to celebrate.  Not only does it bring beautiful joy it brings relief and that indescribable peace.

The name Ezra means "to help" and we thank God for using Ezra's life to help us once again to see, experience, understand, and feel something new and radical this Easter weekend which in return gives us more reason to put our faith and trust in Him and His will.