Friday, Sept. 16 Appt.
We had another appointment Friday with Dr. Moore. Thankfully a case got cancelled so Jeff was able to come again and the kids were in good hands with Rachel.
Like us, Dr. Moore was very happy to hear about the baby's other structural defect being cleared that we had been unsure of last time. After going over a few questions that we had thought of throughout the week we did the quick ultrasound. Unfortunately the ultrasound was not encouraging. The amniotic fluid around the baby has significantly decreased, meaning our kidney function has most likely also decreased. Our hearts are aching deep right now but we continue to trust and know that God has our baby's days numbered to perfection and whatever that may be will be the perfect plan for this little one, even if it's far less days then we want.
Nothing is comparable to the crucifixion of Jesus but we find ourselves understanding a bit more of what that time must have felt like for the people involved. The pain God must have felt as a father looking ahead at losing a child who is completely innocent. The pain Jesus must have felt the night before being crucified crying out "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36). The pain and helpless feeling that was felt by the disciples and Jesus' friends watching the crucification take place and thinking all of this has to be a horrible, terrible mistake. Yet in the long run Jesus dying on the cross was the best plan for all of us.
We still don't know what the overall outcome of the baby will be and continue to pray that a miracle will line up with what God has planned for this precious little one. However, we do know that we are unable to see the the big picture and know that God will bless us throughout this situation if we allow him to take control and do so no matter what the outcome is.
Medically speaking it looks as if we will be delivering much earlier then we wanted to with this low of amniotic fluid. We will be 27 weeks on Monday and are on our knees fervently praying to make it at the very least to 30 weeks without putting the baby in too much distress and that the very small amount of amniotic fluid which is left will be sustained rather then get worse. We also pray that the rest of the baby's health will be strong enough and that no other issues arise during this time. We pray for wisdom and guidance for us and the doctors as we make these tough decisions. This is a very tricky balance as to when it is best to take the baby out of a mother's womb in a situation like this. The baby's over all development is obviously always done best in the womb and only certain treatments can be done on such a premature baby but with such little amniotic fluid we may put the baby in too much distress not delivering earlier then later and could lose the baby all together before delivery. We praise God for the "love kicks" (as one dear friend referred to them as) that we feel every day while still in the womb and for allowing us to grow stronger together as a family and in our faith. We also are grateful for God's perfect timing and placement of people throughout this journey in San Diego and for all of our friends and family far away who have supported and shown such love and kindness to us. Our emotions, thoughts, and feelings are up and down day by day, hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute. But through our tears and pain we still have a hope and peace made only possible by trusting in God. We cannot thank all of you enough who have been on your knees and continue to do so on our behalf.
If the baby continues to be active and things go as planned we will be doing another u/s and appointment with Dr. Moore in a little less then 2 weeks. The following Wed. all of the UCSD perinatologists meet to bring up challenging cases and at that time he will bring up our case to them to put all their brain power together and discuss what might be the best for our situation and then we can choose what we want to do. We will also be meeting with a pediatric urologist in the next week or two to discuss what to expect following the birth of the baby regarding the kidney/bladder issue.
On a side note, Nicole's phone has been acting up and many texts have been getting lost in space and she is unable to text back to certain people. If she has not texted you back within 24 hours know that she is not ignoring you, she just may not have received the text at all. We are in the process of trying to get her a new phone as soon as possible but of course the timing isn't exactly ideal with the new phone coming out and it will take a couple of weeks to get her one. Please feel free to try and text her with hopes it will go through and/or text Jeff or send her an email if you would like to get in contact with her.
With love,
Jeff & Nicole
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalm 139:13-16
Like us, Dr. Moore was very happy to hear about the baby's other structural defect being cleared that we had been unsure of last time. After going over a few questions that we had thought of throughout the week we did the quick ultrasound. Unfortunately the ultrasound was not encouraging. The amniotic fluid around the baby has significantly decreased, meaning our kidney function has most likely also decreased. Our hearts are aching deep right now but we continue to trust and know that God has our baby's days numbered to perfection and whatever that may be will be the perfect plan for this little one, even if it's far less days then we want.
Nothing is comparable to the crucifixion of Jesus but we find ourselves understanding a bit more of what that time must have felt like for the people involved. The pain God must have felt as a father looking ahead at losing a child who is completely innocent. The pain Jesus must have felt the night before being crucified crying out "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36). The pain and helpless feeling that was felt by the disciples and Jesus' friends watching the crucification take place and thinking all of this has to be a horrible, terrible mistake. Yet in the long run Jesus dying on the cross was the best plan for all of us.
We still don't know what the overall outcome of the baby will be and continue to pray that a miracle will line up with what God has planned for this precious little one. However, we do know that we are unable to see the the big picture and know that God will bless us throughout this situation if we allow him to take control and do so no matter what the outcome is.
Medically speaking it looks as if we will be delivering much earlier then we wanted to with this low of amniotic fluid. We will be 27 weeks on Monday and are on our knees fervently praying to make it at the very least to 30 weeks without putting the baby in too much distress and that the very small amount of amniotic fluid which is left will be sustained rather then get worse. We also pray that the rest of the baby's health will be strong enough and that no other issues arise during this time. We pray for wisdom and guidance for us and the doctors as we make these tough decisions. This is a very tricky balance as to when it is best to take the baby out of a mother's womb in a situation like this. The baby's over all development is obviously always done best in the womb and only certain treatments can be done on such a premature baby but with such little amniotic fluid we may put the baby in too much distress not delivering earlier then later and could lose the baby all together before delivery. We praise God for the "love kicks" (as one dear friend referred to them as) that we feel every day while still in the womb and for allowing us to grow stronger together as a family and in our faith. We also are grateful for God's perfect timing and placement of people throughout this journey in San Diego and for all of our friends and family far away who have supported and shown such love and kindness to us. Our emotions, thoughts, and feelings are up and down day by day, hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute. But through our tears and pain we still have a hope and peace made only possible by trusting in God. We cannot thank all of you enough who have been on your knees and continue to do so on our behalf.
If the baby continues to be active and things go as planned we will be doing another u/s and appointment with Dr. Moore in a little less then 2 weeks. The following Wed. all of the UCSD perinatologists meet to bring up challenging cases and at that time he will bring up our case to them to put all their brain power together and discuss what might be the best for our situation and then we can choose what we want to do. We will also be meeting with a pediatric urologist in the next week or two to discuss what to expect following the birth of the baby regarding the kidney/bladder issue.
On a side note, Nicole's phone has been acting up and many texts have been getting lost in space and she is unable to text back to certain people. If she has not texted you back within 24 hours know that she is not ignoring you, she just may not have received the text at all. We are in the process of trying to get her a new phone as soon as possible but of course the timing isn't exactly ideal with the new phone coming out and it will take a couple of weeks to get her one. Please feel free to try and text her with hopes it will go through and/or text Jeff or send her an email if you would like to get in contact with her.
With love,
Jeff & Nicole
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalm 139:13-16
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