Day 3, 4, & 5
Thursday was a blur as we did the final (simple) details that needed to be done for Friday. Friday was like an out of body experience which I think most big events in life are. We can't thank those of you who surrounded us with love, both in person and in spirit. The ceremony celebrating Ezra's life and journey was just that, a celebration. As crazy as it sounds it decided to rain Friday in San Diego. Not just rain but we had a flat out downpour for a long period time. Because of this rare event in San Diego we let the balloons go right by the church and it was beautiful. We couldn't help but be reminded of the song Blessings by Laura Story which was not only on our slideshow but was also the song that we had playing as Ezra passed in the hospital. That down pour couldn't have been more perfect and meaningful... "what if your blessings come through rain drops"...We'll be uploading a slideshow when we get a chance soon.
As time has gone on the ache to hold Ezra and be with him has increased. Little reminders tend to sting a little more the more distant last Monday becomes. It's becoming more and more real that the new normal will be a challenge. The last six months we have lived in the unknown of what our future held for us as a family and little Ezra. Would we be able to bring Ezra home? How long would he need to be in the hospital? Would the kids and Nicole need to stay here in San Diego longer then Jeff? How severe would his lungs be affected? How would the dialysis work? How would traveling work with him? What challenges would we face with a child with a fairly extensive prune belly along with other medical issues? To have all those answered and taken away all at the same time is a hard adjustment even though all along we knew it was highly likely that this would be the outcome. No more making phone calls 2-3 times a night to Rady's Children's Hospital asking to be connected to the nurse taking care of Ezra Wilde in room 3222. No more driving to the hospital 1-2 times a day to see Ezra. No more asking the doctors and nurses for updates, lab values, and results of tests. No more wanting to be with Mikayla and Malachi when at the hospital and wanting to be with Ezra when at home. But at the same time we are thankful for this let down. It would be more worrisome if we didn't have it and it makes us realize that although his time was short how much of an impact he made on our family in so many ways and how far we as a family were willing and wanting to go to care for him. We don't know what our future holds now but we do know that this has made us stronger. Knowing now that Ezra is in good hands we will be focusing on how to move forward from here individually and as a family. We feel as if our journey with Ezra is not finished but we are more just in the middle as we process these raw and painful emotions as they come our way and reflect on what has happened in the last six months.
Songs have touched us in many ways during this journey. This song was shared to us today by our sweet friend Ali whose son was Ezra's neighbor in the NICU and understands all too well what this journey has been like. It sums up a lot of our feelings these last couple of days of confusion and pain yet knowing this is right. Something that we have prayed for from the very beginning "Thy will be done".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAmh3yvmzXs
With love,
Jeff & Nicole
As time has gone on the ache to hold Ezra and be with him has increased. Little reminders tend to sting a little more the more distant last Monday becomes. It's becoming more and more real that the new normal will be a challenge. The last six months we have lived in the unknown of what our future held for us as a family and little Ezra. Would we be able to bring Ezra home? How long would he need to be in the hospital? Would the kids and Nicole need to stay here in San Diego longer then Jeff? How severe would his lungs be affected? How would the dialysis work? How would traveling work with him? What challenges would we face with a child with a fairly extensive prune belly along with other medical issues? To have all those answered and taken away all at the same time is a hard adjustment even though all along we knew it was highly likely that this would be the outcome. No more making phone calls 2-3 times a night to Rady's Children's Hospital asking to be connected to the nurse taking care of Ezra Wilde in room 3222. No more driving to the hospital 1-2 times a day to see Ezra. No more asking the doctors and nurses for updates, lab values, and results of tests. No more wanting to be with Mikayla and Malachi when at the hospital and wanting to be with Ezra when at home. But at the same time we are thankful for this let down. It would be more worrisome if we didn't have it and it makes us realize that although his time was short how much of an impact he made on our family in so many ways and how far we as a family were willing and wanting to go to care for him. We don't know what our future holds now but we do know that this has made us stronger. Knowing now that Ezra is in good hands we will be focusing on how to move forward from here individually and as a family. We feel as if our journey with Ezra is not finished but we are more just in the middle as we process these raw and painful emotions as they come our way and reflect on what has happened in the last six months.
Songs have touched us in many ways during this journey. This song was shared to us today by our sweet friend Ali whose son was Ezra's neighbor in the NICU and understands all too well what this journey has been like. It sums up a lot of our feelings these last couple of days of confusion and pain yet knowing this is right. Something that we have prayed for from the very beginning "Thy will be done".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAmh3yvmzXs
With love,
Jeff & Nicole
We have been praying for all of you often and will continue to do so. Sending lots of love.
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